I met Folarin at my office, we became best buddies, I fell in love with him, and we married. Our wedding was the talk of the town, it was expensive, glamorous, and a fairy tale. I felt like miss universe and the world was at my feet even though my mum was not in support of the marriage at the beginning, but when she saw that I had made up my mind, she reluctantly gave her blessing.
A few weeks into our marriage we had our first major fight, he came to pick me up from work when he saw me giggling and chatting with a male colleague, I could see the anger on his face when our eyes locked, I assumed he was jealous, I got into the car tried to hug and peck him but he pushed and yelled at me asking who that was, I told him he was just a colleague and nothing more but he wasn’t having it, I have never seen him this upset or yell because he is usually so soft-spoken and gentle, So, I felt like I hurt him badly, for peace to reign, I apologised and promised he will never see me with any man and I also jokingly said, he owns me and he has nothing to worry about. I guess he held unto my statement.
A few months down the line, we had more fights and misunderstandings. He would go out and come home late, sometimes drunk and when I complained he would get upset and I would get upset too, the day I would never forget was the day he hit me. I thought I was dreaming, I looked at him and waited for him to tell me it was a joke and he was sorry but instead, he said, and I quote, I own you, remember. I wept not just because he hit me but because that was the first day anyone would lay a hand on me. I threatened to leave even though it was an empty threat because I loved him, and I wanted the marriage to work. He came to me begging and saying how I made him do it, he promised there and then to never hit me again.
At the initial stage, I thought I could manage it because my mum prepared me for these moments, by saying that marriage is not always rosy and sweet, we would have our ups and downs and we should learn to manage it. So, I kept the fights to myself till the day I could no longer take it. I told my best friend who in turn told my mum. My mum was so furious. she came to the house with my friend and asked me to pack my things and follow her because she clearly stated that, he won’t stop abusing me. but I assured her that he will change. Seeing how bruised and battered I looked, my best friend who was crying also begged me to listen to my mum but I turned deaf ears because I loved my husband.
After that day, my husband cut me off from everyone: my best friend, my job, and my mum. He claimed he loved me and he didn’t want anyone to interfere in our marriage. One beautiful afternoon. I shared the news of my pregnancy with him he seemed like the happiest man on earth, he lifted me and kissed me passionately. He promised to be the best daddy and take care of us. I was happy to hear that, happy the baby came because the change I always wanted to see had come.
It was not for long, seven months into my pregnancy he became very irritable, he will yell and hit me at the slightest till the day I lost my baby and became unconscious I was rushed to the hospital. He visited me throughout my stay in the hospital, he would cry and tell me how sorry he is, how it was a mistake. I was always too weak and too sad to say anything, I would stare at him blankly till he left.
Finally, I recovered and went to the house to pack my belongings, he begged as usual but this time I had made up my mind to leave, this got him upset, he stopped me, squeezed my neck to hurt me, saying he owns me till I managed to get away. I was filled with so much rage, and anger that he deprived me of the joy of motherhood. I didn’t know when I stabbed him with a knife in his right arm. I felt sorry for him, but I knew I had to leave. My mum was right, it is not wise to try to change a man, I left in tears and never looked back.
